Be Aggressive B-E Aggressive, B-E-A-G-G-R-E-S-S-I-V-E, aggressive, B-E aggressive. I can remember the soccer team chanting loudly before hitting the field. And it was true, if you wanted to win, you needed to be aggressive.
As a goalkeeper it was a much finer science. A goalkeeper needs to realize the exact moment to be aggressive in order to stop the ball. It is all about timing and bravery. I was fearless. Like most things, there are drills to perfect that fearlessness; 6 soccer balls lined up a foot apart, one striker about a foot in front of you. Diving at their feet the moment of impact, an occasional cleat to the face or stomach only made you tougher. Timing is everything, jump too soon and your efforts won’t cut it; too late and you will miss. Three bounds backward and throwing yourself into the air in order to tip the ball over the top far corner; it is invigorating. The number of fingers that have fallen casualties to aggressive strikers…countless.
Later in my life I consider the same aggression as I get strong armed out of the subway car on my way to work yesterday. I pout in disappointment about being late to work and that I am not being that I am not aggressive enough in my professional and personal life. Even my soccer game has grown more timid. I fear that I have begun to let my friends, romantic interests, bosses and coworkers walk all over me.
When did I become so afraid of everything? I had this same thought as I boarded the airplane for my adventure in Switzerland last January. I found comfort in the idea that “Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear”, now however, I just wish I could abolish all of the fear in my life.
I find myself constantly holding my breath fearing criticism from my short yet very intimidating boss. Because of my recent lack of aggression I have found myself at work on days off, worrying what the little monster will think if she found out I was stupid enough to come in.
The funny thing is that confidence had never been a problem growing up, I didn’t care what people thought about me. I knew I was doing great things and nothing stopped me. I wore ridiculous outfits and didn’t care that I was a soccer-playing-band-geek. I know the cow print pajama pants were defiantly not one of my finest fashion moments but why am I so concerned that I don’t own black clothes and look like a New Yorker? What’s so great about fitting in?
Aggression; something that people in New York City don’t lack. Six minutes passed, here comes the Six Train again. I hold my bag tighter and fight my way onto the crowed subway, in anger; I realize I will fight to find my way to where I belong. Time to carefully decide my moment to be aggressive. When is yours?
It is a sobering yet undeniable fact that we allow and even encourage people to define us. What we look like, what we wear, what we do, the list goes on and on. The best kind of balance I can find is to be a person you're proud of and let the chips fall where they may. You run the risk at times of people thinking you're a douche bag, but the people that love you and respect you ( who frankly, are the only ones that count ), will certainly understand. Everyday, all of us, ( and I mean all of us ) live with fear and anxieties that are often crippling. It sucks! Often friends, co-workers and others don't know everything going on in our lives or they would not interact in the same way. You cannot always change the behavior of others so I say, " Be the Ball ", and grab as much enjoyment as we can eke out. Remember, we wouldn't be so afraid if we didn't care so much about the things we love. At the risk of defining you, Awesome blog! Love D
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