The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. So I have created a list of a few rules to keep in mind so you don’t loose yours.
Erica’s Rules for Unemployment:
- Never turn down a free meal, even if it is at a crazy vegan restaurant, with a boss who wouldn’t hire you after working for her for free for months.
- Put on real clothes, its important to still feel like a person. Resist the temptation to wear the official uniform of unemployment; sweatpants and pajamas.
- Make sure to have fun every single day. Even the tough days need to have some joy in them. If you’re not having fun, you’re doing the wrong things.
- Budget, budget budget. You cannot get real work done at your house, and if you do you will start to feel like a recluse. In order to solve this problem you must bum Internet of the nearest Starbucks, one must budget at least $2.38 for iced coffee everyday, in order to justify the Internet bumming. Bumming Internet off of Starbucks is also a good way to enforce rule number 2, no one wants to look homeless in public.
- If it’s free, it’s for me! Find as many free things to do as possible. For instance museum free nights are great because you can do it alone and not feel too awkward and it’s free! The unemployed also enjoy free samples and all commercial holidays such as Ben and Jerry’s Free Cone Day or Dunkin Donut’s Free Iced Coffee Day.
- Exercise as often as possible. As we learned from “Legally Blonde” exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy, happy people don’t kill their roommates. This also ensures you stay out of legal trouble. No one likes to have to check off that box, “have you be convicted of a crime” when filling out job applications.
- Try and limit your exposure to old friends and acquaintances to a minimum, lets be honest you are depressing and the conversation starts to get awkward when they ask you what you are doing now.
- Read as many blogs on how to interview, revolutionary job searching techniques, and resume tips…none of these will help but it will make you feel hopeful because you are not that person who is stupid enough to need someone to tell you not to show up late for an interview, wear a tee-shirt and jeans, spell your name wrong, or not shower.
- Lastly envision what your life would be like once you finally get a job, create a list of things you will buy once you have money to spend, or maybe a list of restaurants you will go to, perhaps you should choreograph your victory dance for when you finally get a job offer. Positive thinking right?
