Welcome to Speculations By the Sea, where the musings are free but the laughs cost extra. For the last three years I have found a home working at the Bistro By the Sea, in Matunuck RI. It has been said in the Providence Journal that, “Backstage at Theatre By The Sea’s restaurant kitchen, there’s high drama to be found every night, a dependable 90 minutes of fiery action, random moments of impending disaster, and a multi-layered love story electrifying the room.” Though a bit exaggerated I find every night at the bistro has stories to be shared and philosophies to be formed. Whether I am hosting or serving, my co workers who I could consider family help weave the story of an entertaining adventure, relatable to all food service workers, or comedy seekers.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Speculations on Storytelling

Our culture was built around storytelling; our history, our destiny has all been built upon the stories we tell. From cave drawings to Native American tales, from Aesop’s fables to religious writings; our lives revolve around these stories. Stories define us. Telling stories has long been recognized as an important part of healing, self-knowledge, and personal and spiritual vehicle for connecting us to other people.

My first goal in relation to storytelling was to experience enough life to be able to have stories; I wanted to be an interesting person first and foremost. Now, I have set a (formally private) goal of writing a story about my experiences before I die. Many people listen to my stories, laugh and say you should write a book. They are probably kidding but it has become a dream of mine.

As I lay awake an hour after I tried to go to bed, I decided to read an article about how the story we tell others about ourselves becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. After being somewhat down on my luck for a little while I realized that the story I tell people does define me. This worried me. Maybe I should reframe my story? I like to retreat when my story is not so happy, I don’t like to answer the question how are you doing and frankly I just don't socialize much.

That being said, let it be known my story is a comedy, sometimes tragic but always funny. It aligns with my philosophy in life, sometimes you just need to laugh at yourself. I am afraid often times people find me to be a serious person. I am focused to the point of recklessness; it sometimes overcrowds my personality. But we need to face the facts, I was fired dressed as a life sized crayon and now I smell like micro waved rice and icy hot. I may make fun of myself quite often but in my story I am the hero. I inspire and encourage, I am the underdog and that’s alright with me.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Speculations on Termination


Synonyms: canned, pink-slipped, shown the door, terminated, let go, downsized, involuntarily separated, terminated, axed, or laid off.
I recently accepted a position as a Program Marketing Assistant at a very small non-profit outside of Boston. I have also recently been terminated from that very same small non-profit. My jubilation of finally being a salaried contributor to the economy lasted a very short three months.
The job was awful but I was naively optimistic because I wanted to believe that I could be a happy working girl, that I could feel like an adult, that I too could move out of my parent’s home. Alas, this was not my fate and though I was miserable, I knew I would grin and bare it until I found a new position.
I was unhappy, not stupid. The search had just begun, I applied to three jobs the week before my termination, but I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. On October 31, I was told I needed to be let go.
Being that it was Halloween, there was a Halloween costume contest for our office of 10 employees that day. I felt pressure to participate because earlier that month, it pointed out to that I was not a team player. There was also a $50 cash prize, and let’s be honest everyone could use a little more cash.
Yes, you know where this is going...I was fired while dressed like a giant crayon. I was “tickled pink” and while I was being told what was happening I couldn’t help but think, wow I am really being fired dressed like a crayon. I wonder if she could still fire me if I was dressed as a giant teddy bear or something with whiskers.
When I was asked into her office to “check in” I grabbed my notebook and didn’t think much of it. My heart of course was pounding, but that was my normal reaction to talking to her. I asked how she was and her response was, “Not good, I have to let you go”. After an awkward pause there were a few other short statements about how she knew I was unhappy there, that my attitude was “toxic” and, that she “bent over backwards to make me happy”.
I was asked if I had anything to say, if I spoke my mind it might have gone something like this.
“uhh, WHAT?! You are firing me because someone told you I was unhappy? When have you bent over backwards for me?! You couldn’t even spell my name right for the first 4 weeks never mind knowing that I may or may not be unhappy with your unethical and possibly illegal accounting demands! You are firing me after I trained my replacement today?! And most importantly, I am dressed as a life-sized crayon….you are really firing me dressed as a life size crayon?!?! My attitude is toxic?! Everyone knows Crayola crayons are NON TOXIC!!!” This is of course what I wish I said, not the professional and reserved few sentences I managed to mumble.
It has been a few months now so that I have had time to digest the fact that I was fired from my first full time job. However, if one more person tells me it is a blessing in disguise I am going to punch them in the face! Even when you hate your job getting fired still stinks.
The comfort I have found in the entire ordeal comes from knowing all of the great successful professionals have at first failed or been fired. If being fired for standing up for what I believe in is what it takes to avoid mediocrity than I guess it’s a price I am prepared to pay.
In our tough economic climate, it's worth reminding ourselves that losing a job may not be the end of the world. Sure, it never feels good, but getting the boot may provide the impetus to reach even greater success. Donald Trump my have patented the line, “You’re Fired” however, not everyone’s termination is TV worthy. Through someone haphazard research, I have learned that getting fired is only a moment in time. It doesn't define who you are, and if you look at getting fired as an opportunity to discover what you truly want to be, do and have in life, then take action towards that goal; getting fired is the best thing that can happen to you! So what? I have some time to reevaluate my goals and career choices; maybe this has even given me a bit more gumption.
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J.K. Rowling: J.K. Rowling lost her job as a secretary because she was caught writing stories when she was supposed to be working. She used her severance to begin the first Harry Potter book.
Bill Gates: Gates didn't seem like a shoe-in for success after dropping out of Harvard and starting a failed first business with Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen called Traf-O-Data. While this early idea didn't work, Gates' later work did, creating the global empire that is Microsoft.
Walt Disney: Disney rakes in billions from merchandise, movies and theme parks around the world, but Walt Disney himself had a bit of a rough start. He was fired by a newspaper editor because, "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas." After that, Disney started a number of businesses that didn't last too long and ended with bankruptcy and failure. He kept plugging along, however, and eventually found a recipe for success that worked.
Thomas Edison: In his early years, teachers told Edison he was "too stupid to learn anything." Work was no better, as he was fired from his first two jobs for not being productive enough. Even as an inventor, Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. Of course, all those unsuccessful attempts finally resulted in the design that worked.
The proceeding information is credited to “November 50 Famously Successful People Who Failed At First 50 Famously Successful People Who Failed At Firsthttp://www.onlinecollege.org/2010/02/16/50-famously-successful-people-who-failed-at-first/