Speculations on Sass

It may come as a shock to you but working in the service industry means that you must deal with customers who are not always so considerate. Perhaps you have a customer who has melodramatic hissy fits because they did not get a seat by the window, or perhaps they snap their fingers at you, command you like a dog, or worst of all, perhaps they leer at you or even touch you like the kind of superbly disgusting sex predator that avoids arrest by dressing as an innocent old man. While at the restaurant and most of the time in my life I am able to keep calm and carry on because of my extreme patience and go with the flow mentality. But sometimes, every now and then, steam shoots out of my ears and on the verge of tears, I’ll contemplate punching someone in the face.

Karleen, boss, owner of the restaurant, and role model, is as tough as nails while somehow still maintaining a sweet and charming personality. Most recently Karleen declared that she thought I needed more spunk in order to achieve my life goals. In almost every aspect of my life I have decided that she is probably right, but how do I walk that fine line between being sassy and being a bitch? What is the difference between bold and inappropriately forward?

Today I stumbled upon a recipe book called “100 Recipes Every Woman Should Know: Engagement Chicken and 99 Other Fabulous Dishes to Get You Everything You Want in Life.” I am not quite in need of an engagement chicken yet but what I want in life is to get what I want in life and first on my list is a permanent fulltime career. Of course the discovery of this recipe book started the speculation wheels turning; maybe what I need is a recipe for a Sassy Sauté or a Spunky Stromboli. It's clear that whatever kind of gumption I am able to cook up in this pressure cooker of life defiantly needs to taste a little tart!

Homemade Sass

1 cup of childlike enthusiasm

3 tablespoons of confidence

1 tablespoon of contact sport (to build aggression)

The bushel of lemons life handed you

½ cup of wit

¼ cup of not giving a damn

1 jar of moderation and proper timing

1 pinch of Gumption

I hope this recipe can cook up a much needed attitude adjustment for fellow my doormat friends. It’s all about the attitude and like those tee shirts my soccer coach made in high school said, "I refuse to loose". After 3 months of free labor I demand an interview! After two years in a relationship I refuse to be broken up with in a text message! After 3 interviews I deserve a call back! Because I respect you I deserve your respect! We’ve all had moments where we’ve failed to speak up for ourselves, said yes when we really wanted to say no, or allowed someone to walk all over our feelings without making a peep. Well no more! I am having an attitude adjustment and I am not putting up with this crap anymore!