Thank You for Smoking

In 1556 the fashion-forward French become the first Europeans to smoke tobacco and by 1940 American adults smoked more than 2,558 cigarettes a year. Taking a turn in the right direction it only took till 1966 before the surgeon general started putting warnings on cigarette packages in the United States.

Now a’ days there are only about two things in the information age that people still don’t like to admit to; smoking and tax evasion. Filthy or Fashionable? Perceptions of smoking has changed and fluxed at many times throughout the turn of the century. We went from Joe Camel and the Marlboro Man to hiding in a corner, cigarette break area’s, and no smoking signs.

In the satire ‘Thank You for Smoking’, the big tobacco company tries to say we need Hollywood to put the sex back into cigarettes. Camel in 1955 said "It's a psychological fact: Pleasure helps your disposition." Well…find a man, not a cigarette! Stepping outside of the front door, sliding a foot to the left and lighting up is not going to protect me from catching your cancer! Every night there are at least three patrons who cannot last an entire meal without smoking. As they step outside they are almost close enough to ask me if I would like a drag. I could get the shakes from the amount of nicotine that wafts in here with your second hand smoke.

And Mr. Marlboro Man, just because you have a new fancy electronic cigarette to match your new fancy electronic touch screen, does not mean it does not still reek! I am not trying to get in the way of your chain-smoking habits, after all Juleps said, "New miracle mint in Juleps freshens the mouth at every puff. Even if you chain-smoke, your mouth feels clean, sparkling all day long", I just would like you to move farther away from the restaurant! Contrary to popular belief I do not want my face to turn as yellow as your fingernails and if I wanted to be addicted to something I would drink more coffee.

Yet there is still hope for my smoking folks; after all, the number one killer in America is still cholesterol. So please continue to puff the magic dragon, a cigarette, cigar or what have you, just would you please kindly step further away from the door? Thank you, I would be much obliged.