Honesty is the best policy?

In the words of Billy Joel: “Honesty is hardly ever heard. And mostly what I need from you.”

Fast and friendly have been used to describe service here, but no one ever said the restaurant business was honest. My question tonight is How much of the truth do people really want to hear? From the simplest “hi, how are?” to why two people can’t be in a relationship, one can never tell how much honesty is really ever desired or healthy.

There are some people that can brag about authenticity and genuineness; I feel I am one of those people, I really mean what I say. However, even I, at the restaurant put on a huge grin and pretend to care how good of an evening total strangers have. Though we are not in the theatre, most of the time it does feel like acting.

Your Jokes really aren’t funny, no the bathroom hasn’t moved, no the restaurant has always been this big, and no the men’s room outside isn’t a joke. These are just a few of the punch lines in the comedy that is working at TBTS.

And for your amusement here are some honest tidbits that some of the other staff wishes we could share with our patrons:

(After asking to move tables because of a hearing problem) “Seriously? You think you will be able to hear better two tables and four feet to the left?”

“hello, will you be leaving the same cheap ass tip you usually do or shall I try to woo you with small talk?”

Customer, “Do you make a good martini?”

Bartender, “Honey, a kindergartner could make a good martini, its just cold gin or cold vodka”

Tara, the most honest of us all, “I don’t have time for this”

(After sending back potatoes at least twice) “I hope this is so hot you burn your f-ing dentures off”

“Can I remember all of this? Well I have a masters degree, but I think your four plates of food might push me over the edge”

The kitchen would probably like to say, “if you substitute half of the ingredients, what you ordered is not on the menu!”

So my question to you is, how much honesty is really necessary, is my fake kindness hurting anyone? Stifling the desired to question wardrobes or social habits crippling anyone? Don’t people go to restaurants to hear what that want to hear? If they wanted to hear the truth they could cook it themselves and face the real facts about how many calories are in chocolate chip cookie pie.