Lifestyles of the rich and famous, oh they are always complaining in Matunuck RI. I’m terribly sorry that you didn’t think that you needed a reservation but I don’t care who you are, you are not getting a table because there aren’t any left!
This is Rhode Island, just because just because my dentist’s neighbor is second cousins with your hairdresser’s son does not make you royalty at this joint. Do I know who you are?...um.. A cranky old senior citizen who will send your cheeseburger back three times before proclaiming who you are one more time?
Case and Point: Tonight, someone waltzed in with no reservations and asking for specific tables. “Nope”, I say, “not tonight I have a table for you in the back room.” As these old folks grumble about the table I notice that they are hovering and not plopping their plump behinds on the seats. Next thing I know Adam tells me they moved because something was blowing on them. (Warning adult content) I’m sorry honey but I don’t think there is any blowing going on anywhere in your life. As I glance back again, they have for a third time moved themselves. Albert, full of curiosity about the disgusted faces I am making, asks who that was. Ashley, quick to jump in exclaims it was the queen of England with her entourage. A few moment’s later, two men walk in and ask if two young ladies, have just come in. I should have said “No sir, but two old ladies did a few minutes ago”. Instead I smiled and showed them to their wives.
So lets clarify, this is not the jersey shore and your trashy behavior is not going to get you what you want. It may get you the table you want, however, it may also get you the honesty that you don’t.
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