Dear Mr. Patron-offering-free-medical-advice,
Your spur of the moment medical advice is really more concerning than it is helpful. No, my birthmark is not cancerous and yes, I am fully caught up on the risks of melanoma. Your unsolicited medical advice is not welcome and your ability to order a sirloin does not equate to your ability to finish medical school or make diagnoses. I cannot tell if you are actually concerned about my health or this is a twisted form of pay back for not receiving your decaf coffee on time. If I was coughing or sneezing on your food, I would understand the desire to offer your personal remedy, but since none of that has occurred I would appreciate it if you keep your opinions yourself. Thanks to you I have spent countless hours examining freckles, birthmarks, and moles; none of which seem irregular! I am sure you thought, “hit ‘em where it hurts, every family has a history of two things, cancer and mental illness”. Now, my imaginary cancer has caused my mental illness. Some restaurants thrive on the theory that the customer is always right; personally it doesn’t seem healthy or sane to subscribe to this philosophy. Before you decided to diagnose some poor waitresses’ skin pigment, auto immune decease, or speech impediment…think twice; even if there is a Dr in front of your name it doesn’t always mean you can or should offer your two cents.
Yours truly,
A flabbergasted but generally healthy waitress
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