Welcome to Speculations By the Sea, where the musings are free but the laughs cost extra. For the last three years I have found a home working at the Bistro By the Sea, in Matunuck RI. It has been said in the Providence Journal that, “Backstage at Theatre By The Sea’s restaurant kitchen, there’s high drama to be found every night, a dependable 90 minutes of fiery action, random moments of impending disaster, and a multi-layered love story electrifying the room.” Though a bit exaggerated I find every night at the bistro has stories to be shared and philosophies to be formed. Whether I am hosting or serving, my co workers who I could consider family help weave the story of an entertaining adventure, relatable to all food service workers, or comedy seekers.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dear Mr. Patron-offering-free-medical-advice


Dear Mr. Patron-offering-free-medical-advice,

Your spur of the moment medical advice is really more concerning than it is helpful. No, my birthmark is not cancerous and yes, I am fully caught up on the risks of melanoma. Your unsolicited medical advice is not welcome and your ability to order a sirloin does not equate to your ability to finish medical school or make diagnoses. I cannot tell if you are actually concerned about my health or this is a twisted form of pay back for not receiving your decaf coffee on time. If I was coughing or sneezing on your food, I would understand the desire to offer your personal remedy, but since none of that has occurred I would appreciate it if you keep your opinions yourself. Thanks to you I have spent countless hours examining freckles, birthmarks, and moles; none of which seem irregular! I am sure you thought, “hit ‘em where it hurts, every family has a history of two things, cancer and mental illness”. Now, my imaginary cancer has caused my mental illness. Some restaurants thrive on the theory that the customer is always right; personally it doesn’t seem healthy or sane to subscribe to this philosophy. Before you decided to diagnose some poor waitresses’ skin pigment, auto immune decease, or speech impediment…think twice; even if there is a Dr in front of your name it doesn’t always mean you can or should offer your two cents.

Yours truly,

A flabbergasted but generally healthy waitress

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